Mo’Nique ‘Unapologetic’ for Comments About Black Women and Hair Bonnets

Mo'Nique (Credit: Shutterstock)

Mo’Nique has no regrets for telling Black women to fix themselves up before they leave home. In fact, the comedian and actress is doubling down after sparking debate — and some anger — with her comments about “queens in training” wearing hair bonnets and slippers in public.

“UNAPOLOGETIC,” Mo’Nique captioned her latest Instagram post on the issue earlier this week.

“Hey my sweet babies. I’ve been thinking long and hard about what I’m going to say,” she explained in a four-minute video. “The post that I did Friday in reference to us being the best that we could be. It rubbed some people wrong.”

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She then explained that music icon Patti LaBelle and acting legend Margaret Avery told her years ago to “get yourself together” … with Avery even encouraging her to lose weight. Instead of getting in her feelings, Mo’Nique said she took their advice to heart.

“I’m glad that those two women loved me enough that they would go out of their way to talk to me in a way that aunties, mommas, big sisters, talk to their little sisters … because it allowed me to think about things differently,” she recalled.

“So for you babies that have taken offense to what I said, I’m okay with that. I’m okay with y’all being in your feelings about it. I’m okay with that because when you love somebody for real, I know y’all will get over that. And when y’all say, ‘We will cancel yo ass’ … well, they’ve tried that, and I’m still here to let y’all know I love you and ain’t nothing you can do about that. I love our community and ain’t nothing you can do about that.”

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This latest post came after the Oscar-winning actress faced backlash from some of her followers for an earlier video, about how some Black women present themselves.

In that post, Mo’Nique told a story about being in an airport in Atlanta, where she “saw so many of our young sisters in head bonnets, scarves, slippers, pajamas, blankets wrapped around them, and this is how they’re showing up to the airport.”

She said she’s been seeing a growing number of young ladies dressing down when they leave home and it bothers her.

“When did we lose our pride in representing ourselves?” Mo’Nique asked.

She added that she wasn’t suggesting women wear a “full face of makeup” or a “full lace frontal” wig, but she asked women, “could you please comb your hair?”

She then warned “queens in training” that “if you look like you don’t give a damn, how are you going to be treated?”

Many followers praised Mo’Nique for her comments, including Instagram user @luvbnfaith, who replied: “Aunty!! This needed to be said.”

@mztehila added, “I SO appreciate this!”

But others told Mo’Nique what they wear is their own business.

“What does it matter what I look like to other ppl, they don’t know me or my heart. My heart and spirit and mind should be the only thing that dictates whether I’m ‘presentable’ enough to be in public,” @jordyn_c2 responded.

@blaccamoore_x added, “Pride doesn’t come from what you wear pride starts with a mindset and some of y’all try to appease and conform to white culture and society!”

While @kblacklove replied to Mo’Nique’s post: “I love my Sis Mo…but I respectfully disagree.”

41 thoughts on “Mo’Nique ‘Unapologetic’ for Comments About Black Women and Hair Bonnets

  1. Awww…She’s 100% correct. NO ONE wants to see you in your home gear. Be an adult and get dressed. Laziness is not an excuse.

    1. Mo’Nique should direct that to everyone. We are a mess. I love to dress down, but there are limits.

    2. So it’s not appeasing and conforming to white culture? Although I don’t see any white women in house slippers and shower caps out and about at the stores, bank, etc.

      1. I have seen both Black & White young people in pajama bottoms, in stores & fast food restaurants.

    3. I agree. And stop ALWAYS linking in white people this and white people that! Get over us! Clean your culture up and act like an adult!

  2. My 20 something daughters and sons go out in pj’s and slippers all of the time. When did wearing pj’s to go shopping become socially acceptable? Must be the generation gap. I don’t get it.

    1. You raised them so why ask us. The Hispanics first started wearing PJ bottoms out in public and I thought it was because they didn’t know better but after your posting….hmm-m-m-m…speak up and tell you children yourself because you are the one that is suppose to give them direction. I remember and in-law stating his sons wasn’t going to wearing those pants sagging down and show his butt and the boy never did and grew up to be a fine man, no trouble with the law and a great job. Parents set the standards and make sure you raise leaders and not followers.

  3. Judging from my local walmart (regardless of race) about half the folks think its ok to go shopping in PJ’s and slippers. Sorry thats just nasty, PJ’s and slippers are for around the house, not tracking germs in from the store. I’m sure it’s the fault of some moron on youtube or tiktok.

  4. Look at the military. Every see someone in uniform ( what they wear in public) and say What a slob?”. No. Most of us say, Wow. Or damn, they look good and represent their branch well. The Marines always look so good. My belief is if you look good-you feel good about yourself. I hope others agree.

  5. LOL, “y’all try to appease and conform to white culture ” Yes, because combing your hair and wearing shoes is “white culture”. LOL

    Clearly these idiots posting have never been to people of walmart .com. Laziness knows no color.

      1. When white culture is equated with cleanliness, lawfulness, and being an upstanding member of society so i will take it over the alternative any day. Speaks volumes about people who try and fail to put down white culture. Without white culture we would be living in mud huts in the jungle peeing and crapping in the corners of the rooms….

  6. People complain about being judged, labeled, and deserve respect. If you don’t give two cents about how you look, then why should the rest of society. No one says a person needs to dress up, and I get casual wear, but when you look like you just rolled out of bed or you appear homeless then the looks and comments are deserved. It takes no effort to look respectable, and looking respectable is NOT a white thing.

    1. Amen!, has nothing to do with Race! When you got anywhere, if you look good you feel good!

  7. It’s universally simple, regardless of skin color; if you have no self-respect and no respect for your fellow citizens, you’ll parade around in public looking like a slob. I would be willing to bet that if you could see the the home environments of these slobs you would see a pig sty.

  8. “My heart and spirit and mind should be the only thing that dictates whether I’m ‘presentable’ enough to be in public”

    This person has no idea what the word “presentable” means. Your heart and spirit cannot be presentable….how the f*** would that even work. If you look like garbage, then you get treated like garbage.

  9. Isn’t Mo’nique a combination of a French name and ghetto-speak?



  10. If you aren’t in lock-step with the LibMarxist dogma you will be condemned.
    You’re only allowed to have an opinion if it complies with theirs.

  11. This is one savvy lady. How you dress and appear is your statement to the world what you think of yourself. Remember General Patton? He was a stickler on appearance – his troops had to look spit and polish. Why? Because Patton knew that if the soldiers were conscious about how they looked they’d be equally careful about important things like making sure their weapons were clean and not taking unnecessary risks when out in action…all designed to give these fellows the best possible odds of coming back alive. Going into public in PJ’s and slippers with unwashed and uncombed hair? Turn fire hoses on them.

  12. Right on target. I even saw a women wear rollers in her hair! I thought those days were gone. Some folks have to take a look in the mirror, or see posts on websites that say they are Walmart people! I’m sure we’ll see BVD’s with skids soon.

    1. Already see it every day. Just go look for one of these wanna be thug ganstas with his pants down around his ankles and you will see all the dirty crap stained underwear you can handle. Damn savages cant even wear basic clothing correctly.

  13. I wish she would have included doctors and nurses who wear their scrubs in public. Also, people who wear their gym shorts and workout gear in public.

  14. I would rather see a physically fit woman in a bonnet, than an obese slob with a nice hair style.

  15. Notice how they had to bring in whites—> “some of y’all try to appease and conform to white culture and society”. When people are dressed up they act differently. When I see blacks dressed like they don’t care I steer clear of them BIG time. All they will do is cause you heart ache and grief.

  16. PJs, slippers, bonnets, curlers….there is no distinction of color with persons I have seen out in public wearing above said items. I have also seen persons of ALL colors wearing (I say that loosely) their pants down around the middle of their thighs, holding them up with one hand strolling around like they’re looking “cool” – too bad they only look like fools. Sick of seeing their bvds or fruit of the looms. How about teachers who come to school in yoga pants and t-strap tops? The days of class seem to have come and gone.

  17. Sooooooooo true!! 100%!!!

    I think what Mo said applies to ALL people–not just black folks. I have never understood how people leave their homes in PJ’s, muscle shirt & shorts, etc..

    Even if you are *only* running to your local Walmart, you should put yourself together and look like you gave a damn about how you look so you don’t look like you rolled right out of bed and left the house.

    Shower, comb your hair, brush your teeth, and lotion up that skin. People will see you and treat you accordingly in my opinion. What is so wrong about looking like you take pride in how others view you?

  18. Black women need to read Martin Luther King’s 1957 speech, ” Some Things We Must Do”, where he touches precisely on what Monique is speaking about. It is quite funny that so many people are so familiar with the, “I Have A Dream” speech but completely ignorant about some of his earlier and more enlightening speeches. If blacks across the country had ever bothered to listen and put into practice “Some Things We Must Do”, the black community would not have even a fraction of the problems they have today.

  19. Who knew that black people having respect for themselves and taking pride in their appearance was racist. Crabs in a bucket.

  20. Her comments don’t just apply to blacks, or women. How we present ourselves to the world telegraphs a lot about how we feel about the world & ourselves.

  21. If you look ratchet people gonna treat you ratchet. Don’t be ratchet.

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